This is the kind of party I can get behind.
Read MoreLeftover Autumn Crap Pumpkin Butter
Ok ok ok sorry everyone I know you've been dying to get the recipe for the pumpkin butter on last week's basic bitch basic white bread. I'm sure it was the only thing you could think about all week, so my apologies for not posting this sooner. Sorry if anyone's productivity went down at work. Endless condolences to anyone who spent the entire second presidential debate just refreshing my blog page, hoping that I would post this recipe. I certainly hope no one's children missed meals as a result of my delay. I know you've all been on the edge of your seat waiting for this, so... here it is!
Read MoreBasic Bitch Basic White Bread
This crusty bread with pumpkin butter and walnuts is for all my basic bitches out there.
Read MoreSmashed Up Mashed Up Curried Shepherd's Pie
My wife (Jess) doesn't eat red meat, but she does when I make shepherd's pie!
Read MoreMeatball Meatbowls
As all 15 of you know, I made way too many meatballs last week, and I ran the risk of over-salting my blood if I continued eating Swedish meatballs all week, so I replaced salt with low sodium soy sauce, and bing bang kitchen magic: spicy Thai peanut sauce meatballs in bowls of rice with pickled veggies and lime-tossed peanuts.
Read MoreMeat Week Swedish Meatballs
The pork and beef at my local grocery store was on sale so.................... I made 85 meatballs! For this smaller batch, I made some creamy beef gravy of the Swedish variety.
Read MoreReally Good Stuffed Peppers with None of the Good Stuff
I found myself in Boston recently with a gluten-intolerant wife, a best friend with Celiacs, three other besties plagued by vegetarianism, and a pescetarian brother. Like, come on, seriously? So I vowed to make some food that everyone would enjoy, and thus were born these vegetarian gluten-free stuffed peppers that actually tasted awesome, I promise.
Read MoreMy Best Friend's Wedding Tart
This past weekend. one of my oldest and only friends Amber got married to her corresponding nerd, giving me the perfect opportunity to fly to Boston and indulge in my only mildly fetishized obsession with tart making. As such, I voyaged to the east coast, drank a bottle of wine that my brother recently procured from a tour of all the wineries in France or something, and three hours later, here was this boozy chocolaty buttery tart that I somehow managed to get to the wedding at a mystery lake 45 minutes away!
Read MoreSquish Your Brain Butternut Squash Soup
This soup will squish your brain apart. The last time I made it was for Thanksgiving in Florida. I fed it to about 20 people as the first course, and it was so good that no one remembers any of the other food that night (other than the amazing cake I made, of course).
Read MoreCali Mess Crostini
The other day at work, as my head fell forward and jerked me momentarily into the realm of the living, i wiped the drool from my chin and deleted the 65,000 L's I had accidentally typed while my finger lay heavy on the keyboard during my surprise boredom nap, and was suddenly overcome with an urge to eat many things at once, as I usually am when I wake up.
Read MoreNot My Grandma's Sauce
Anyone who knows me knows that sauce is my main source of happiness and energy. Any kind will do, but my favorite is my grandma's meat sauce. Unfortunately, I am too poor (cheap) to buy meat all the time, so every week I make a meatless variation...
Read MoreGetting Schnitty with Schnitzel
I basically get schnitzel for every meal when I'm in Germany. I was in Berlin recently and my best German friend, Matze, taught me how to make schnitzel just like his mom's!
Read MoreRidiculicious Italian Wedding-ish Soup
Ok so this soup isn't technically Italian Wedding, but I eat it for the same reasons: cold and rainy days, or just when I'm feeling depressed AF. It's also just my favorite soup to make, so I make it a lot...
Read MoreSick Awesome Cheese Pizza!
My current most favorite thing to make? Pizza. A thousand times pizza. I am eating it for every meal and happily gaining a thousand pounds in the process. The dough is simple and easy. The sauce is even easier. The toppings are all delicious in any combination. My feelings at the moment are "Only dumb people would eat something other than pizza"...
Read MoreBomb Nasty Korean Style Pancake
A while ago I was watching some food travel documentary and was inspired to make this after watching old Korean women selling similar items in the street. You may wonder what I found so inspirational about it. In the show, the women were pretty decrepit, old and sweating over their griddles, mixing the ingredients with their hands and wiping them off on their filthy clothes. It all looked very unpleasant. But what I care about even more than flavor is often price, and these seemed extremely inexpensive to make, so off I went to my cupboard!
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