Leftover Autumn Crap Pumpkin Butter

Ok ok ok sorry everyone I know you've been dying to get the recipe for the pumpkin butter on last week's basic bitch basic white bread. I'm sure it was the only thing you could think about all week, so my apologies for not posting this sooner. Sorry if anyone's productivity went down at work. Endless condolences to anyone who spent the entire second presidential debate just refreshing my blog page, hoping that I would post this recipe. I certainly hope no one's children missed meals as a result of my delay. I know you've all been on the edge of your seat waiting for this, so... here it is!

Jess found my first attempt at this to be too spiced and too sweet, so I hope that the combination of ingredients below has fixed those problems. Warning, do not eat this on its own. It is meant to be used as a condiment. It pairs nicely on its own with crusty bread, and can even be used sparingly to bring a gentle sweetness to a cream or red sauce. For extra sweetness, replace 1/2 cup of the water with apple juice!

Butter Count: 0 Tbsp, shockingly, thus ending my promise to you all to never post another recipe with no butter in it. But like, it's called pumpkin butter, so.... I guess all of it is butter in some fake kind of nonsense way?



3 15-oz cans pumpkin puree

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 1/2 cups water

3 Tbsp lemon juice

1 Tbsp grated lemon zest

3 tsp ground cinnamon

3/4 tsp salt

3/4 tsp ground nutmeg

3/4 tsp ground ginger



1. Add all of the ingredients to a pot. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently to dissolve the sugar and combine the ingredients thoroughly.

2. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Cool and transfer to jars, which can be stored in the refrigerator for three or four weeks.